fancyfastfood:

Whop Perguignon (Fancy Whopper & Steakhouse Burger) by Erik of Fancy Fast Food

Ingredients:

• 1 BK Combo Meal: Whopper with added bacon and mushrooms (have it your way), onion rings, and a bottle of “XXX” Vitaminwater
• 1 BK Combo Meal: Mushroom Swiss Steakhouse Burger , french fries, and a bottle of “XXX” Vitaminwater
• 1 Garden Salad
• 1 bottle of water
• packets of salt, pepper, and ketchup
• organic parsley (for garnish and a touch of irony)

This recipe is a “slight variation” of Julia Child’s classic Boeuf Bourguignon recipe. First, disassemble the burgers to extract the ingredients we’ll need: bacon, onions, mushrooms, the burger patties, and the buns. Using a paper towel, dry off any oil, ketchup, or mayonnaise from the buns, and then toast them in a toaster (or toaster oven or conventional oven) until they become hard and crusty. Once cool to the touch, grate the bread down into breadcrumbs. (This will be used later on.)

Next, cut the beef patties into uneven square shapes, and then slice the bacon into “lardoons” about a quarter-inch-wide and an inch-and-a-half long. Sauté these small strips of bacon in a saucepan for a bit, and then add in the beef. Sauté the meats together until they start to sizzle, and then pour in about two-thirds of a bottle of the burgundy-colored Vitaminwater. Once the beef has been moistened, take each piece with a pair of kitchen tongs and bread it in the breadcrumbs you made earlier. (This will help thicken the sauce, and make the burger squares look more natural.) Add in the baby carrots from the Garden Salad, a packet of ketcup, salt and pepper to taste, and stir. Then cover the saucepan and let it all stew for at least twenty minutes under a low heat.

Meanwhile, use a pairing knife to peel the breading off of the onion rings. Add the oniony pieces to the mix of the other onion forms and the mushrooms, and rinse them all in a colander. Then sauté these mushrooms and onions in a small skillet. Finally, put the french fries in a food processor with 1/3 cup of water, and blend until it becomes a mashed potato-like substance.

And now the assembly: place morsels of your beef stew on a fancy white plate. Top it with the sautéed onions and mushrooms, and garnish with chopped organic parsley. Put some mashed potatoes on the side, and then pour some gravy from the saucepan over the meat and potatoes. Serve Vitaminwater in a wine glass. And voila! A Julia Child-inspired beef stew fit for a King! (It’s not so hard, Julie.)

If you are viewing this recipe in an aggregator (like tumblr’s Dashboard), or as a reblogged post, please check out the real website at FancyFastFood.com.

The reality is that everybody shops at Wal-Mart.

Tim Marema, vice president of the Whitesburg, Kentucky-based Center for Rural Strategies

Exposure to cellphone radiation is the largest human health experiment ever undertaken, without informed consent, and has some 4 billion participants enrolled. Science has shown increased risk of brain tumors from use of cellphones, as well as increased risk of eye cancer, salivary gland tumors, testicular cancer, non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and leukemia. The public must be informed.

Lloyd Morgan, lead author and member of the Bioelectromagnetics Society

This is most definitely why we fail.

A new study finds obese people have 8 percent less brain tissue than normal-weight individuals. Their brains look 16 years older than the brains of lean individuals, researchers said today.

Those classified as overweight have 4 percent less brain tissue and their brains appear to have aged prematurely by 8 years.

“That’s a big loss of tissue and it depletes your cognitive reserves, putting you at much greater risk of Alzheimer’s and other diseases that attack the brain,” said Thompson. “But you can greatly reduce your risk for Alzheimer’s, if you can eat healthily and keep your weight under control.”

Sounds pretty serious, and easily prevented if you ask me. Then again, how the hell are we supposed to abide by every study that comes out, when I read the results of a dozen every day? Doomed to fail.

Submitted by Blake

I just stumbled upon an article titled, World of Warcraft ‘more addictive than cocaine’. Apparently, the popular computer game World of Warcraft has been described as “more addictive than cocaine” after it sent a teenager into convulsions after he played non-stop for 24 hours.

Two things. First—great title. Dropping ‘cocaine’ will get anyone’s attention, whether it’s true or not. Second—more addictive than cocaine? A software company, comprised of humans just like you and I, built this game from nothing. And this very same company profits millions of dollars when people are apparently suffering from serious addiction problems. Why are some forms of cocaine legal, but not all? Sounds like we’ve got another drug war on our hands (except this time, it isn’t the Mexicans).

P.S. Get a life, nerds!

On The Today Show, Matt Lauer hosted dietitian Elizabeth Ward to discuss how to make “healthy” food choices on a road trip. Virtually the only measure Ward used to evaluate what was healthy was how many calories is in it.

She started out with breakfast at McDonalds, stating she was a big proponent of eating eggs. She recommended scrambled eggs and an English muffin.

For the record, scrambled eggs at McDonalds, which one could easily mistake for being comprised of well, eggs, actually contain the following:

Pasteurized whole eggs with sodium acid pyrophosphate, citric acid and monosodium phosphate (added to preserve color), nisin (preservative). Prepared with Liquid Margarine: Liquid soybean oil, water, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, salt, hydrogenated cottonseed oil, soy lecithin, mono-and diglycerides, sodium benzoate and potassium sorbate (preservatives), artificial flavor, citric acid, vitamin A palmitate, beta carotene (color).

She goes onto recommend Burger King, Taco Bell, KFC Grilled Chicken (HuffPost bloggers have had a field day with this “healthy” alternative) and processed and packaged snacks.

What a twat.

This is deeply misleading, for two reasons. First, what does it mean to say that you are satisfied with your health insurance? Consider homeowner’s insurance. Until you need it — your house burns down — you have no way of judging its quality. The same goes for health coverage; until you have a serious illness, the kind where your plan’s limits and exclusions may kick in, how do you know if your health coverage is any good?

For one thing, as the House Energy and Commerce Committee uncovered, some insurers go out of their way to revoke coverage for people with serious health problems by looking for mistakes on their original applications. For another, you could be underinsured, like 29 percent of all people with health insurance, according to Consumer Reports. The second problem is that the health coverage that most satisfied Americans have — employer-based coverage — is less secure than they think.

[Washington Post]

SEARCH #1

A simple “can a” yields the following suggestions. Notice suggestion #4 and hilarious #6. The last one is pretty good too.

SEARCH #2

Change the previous search slightly to “can a h” and the responses become incredibly strange. While all the suggestions are peculiar, the first and last are distubing. Good work, humans.